As a senior in high school, I have had my fair share of guy problems. I have been in two very different relationships and have been single as well. Throughout my ups and downs with boys I have come to multiple conclusions but the main one would be: guys are too difficult for girls to understand. As well as, girls are probably too difficult for guys to understand. Instead of writing an entire article on why all boys are bad; I’d like to point out reasons why girls feel hesitant towards guys, and give some suggestions to help deal with the crazy female population.
From a girls perspective guys may lead you on, seem to never want to commit, are indecisive and some times immature, and overall don’t care about girls’ feelings. Although this is not true for the entire male population, from my experiences as well as some of my friend’s guys may do things that make this appear true. The problem with guys and relationships are…they just don’t mix very well. Guys have difficulties committing and girls have problems communicating. Many girls like to assume guys know when they are flirting with them, but in reality guys cannot read our minds no matter how badly we sometimes believe they can. If both girls and guys began to practice communication with one another, then dramatic fallouts might not happen as often. Girls would no longer assume guys are out to get them, and guys may become more understanding. Although few high school guys seem to think it is possible to commit to one girl and still be able to have fun, it is possible. It just takes a lot of time and patience. But if both people within a relationship are willingly to work through the difficulties to have each other, it will be much more enjoyable in the long run.
Some people choose to refuse all types of significant relationships and live the single life. I will admit the single life can be a lot easier. Being single can be more fun, because you don’t have to worry about another person. Taking care of yourself can be a handful for some people, and adding another person can make it ten times worse. Not having a significant other can cause less stress or drama, and gives you the feeling that you are not tied down. Although this works for some people, it does not mean that hooking up with a bunch of people for fun and enjoyment is okay. This idea is never okay and in many cases guys seem to think differently than girls when it comes to this issue. From a girl’s perspective, guys do this a lot especially in high school and college when settling down isn’t an option. I do not believe only guys hook up with girls for fun, because I am sure girls do the same. If you have every gone through this feeling, you will know it is not something anyone should have to be put through. Guys should know that this is not okay to do because it can really insult and hurt a girl. While girls should remember that if they don’t want it to happen to them, then they should not do it to someone else.
Besides relationships, boys can be plain gross to a girl. Girls spend time making sure they look just right and some boys may never understand this. Guys may seem like they don’t care about how they appear to others and can become smelly and yucky. Word of advice to all you guys out there, girls like it when you look and smell nice! Just like our appearance matters to you, your appearance also matters to us!
Boys may think it’s completely appropriate to talk to multiple girls at once. While that could seem okay on paper, if you are telling three different girls the same thing about “how special they are to you,” or “how happy you make them feel,” you might as well just stop. When anyone does this, it ends up hurting someone’s feelings. Therefore, when you begin to think its cool and fun to play, take a second and think how you would feel if someone was doing this to you. This situation can also effect future relationships before they even begin.
Friendships with guys are probably the most difficult kinds of relationships to establish. Showing enough affection to have a friendship but not too much to show interest that says you’re leading them on is a very hard concept for anyone. While a guy friend can give lots of advice and so can the girl friend to the guy, it’s hard to have a true friendship that isn’t influenced by other feelings. I truly wish I had a guy friend that I could go to for guy advice. He would know exactly what to do if I ever needed him. Being friends with a guy is even worse when you want to be more. Girls think guys love to play hard to get with us. They show just enough flirtation to give a girl the impression that they like her, when in reality, “they’re just being nice.” Its hard to know if a guy friend is interested or just playing. When guys are more straightforward with their feelings, girls might not judge them so harshly.
Being a girl is hard enough, and finding a guy adds to the difficultly. As a senior in high school, I have come to the conclusion that looking for guys is too big of a hassle. Like happiness, boys are like butterflies. The more you chase them, the more they run away. But once you turn your attention to other things, the right one becomes more clear; or so it seems.
Check out Daniel’s article “Dear Women of the World…” for advice and suggestions for women!
By: Ansley Jordan