By: Ansley Jordan
XOXO -A is an advice column that goes out every issue of The Shofar. This article is written by Ansley Jordan, a senior at Monsignor Donovan Catholic High School. The goal of this column is to deliver real answers to student’s questions. If anyone wants to contribute to the column, write down your questions and put them in the “Advice” envelope located on the student board across from Mr. Yuran’s office.
My boyfriend talks to other girls and I think he likes someone else, what do I do?
If you believe your boyfriend likes other girls because he is talking to them a lot, the first thing you should do is talk to him. Communication is one of the most important aspects of a relationship. If you feel like you cannot talk to him about this subject, then there is probably a bigger issue going on. Once you have talked to him, and have clearly stated your feelings, he should be more understanding and you should try to trust him. If nothing changes, then you definitely have a problem that you need to think about. I cannot specifically tell you to stay with him or to breakup. Ultimately, it’s your choice as well as a learning experience for the both of you.
I’m in love with this girl, but she has a guy already….what should I do?
Oh dear, this must be tough for you! Although you might want to run up to her and express your undying love, that probably isn’t the best idea. But don’t worry there are still other ways to figure this whole situation out.
Timing is everything, especially when it comes to someone who means a lot to you. You may have known her for a while or just met her, but either way you don’t want to jeopardize her relationship or your friendship with her. The best thing you can do, is…nothing. While this sounds harsh and pointless, you shouldn’t interfere with her current relationship because she might not forgive you afterwards. Be there for her if anything happens and show her that you care. Be patient and wait for the right time. You never know, something may spark!
I have strong feelings for somebody, but I don’t know if he/she likes me?
This seems to be a problem for almost everyone. Guys don’t like to show girls how they really feel, and girls don’t want to come across as too desperate, so it normally ends in a stalemate. Even though this situation occurs a lot, it has an easy fix.
If you are brave, I would suggest walking straight up to your crush to tell him or her how you feel. If you are more shy and don’t particularly like confrontation then you can always indirectly say how you feel without flat out saying, “I really like you and hope you feel the same!” Although that does work for some people, it’s not for everyone. The next option will allow you to ask them how they feel, but not face-to-face, possibly through text messaging, Facebook chat or maybe even a sweet email. This is a choice a lot of people tend to use, but don’t forget- you’re going to have to talk to him or her in person at some point, so the earlier the better!
How do I get someone to like me?
The easiest way to get someone to like you, is to be yourself. If I were to list a bunch of ways that I think you should do so that someone will like you, you would not be yourself anymore. Therefore, if someone were to fall for you, they would be falling for someone you were trying to be, not someone you are. So the best advice anyone can give is to…BE YOU!
My boyfriend broke up with me and I’m heart broken, what do I do now?
Moving on is hard and different for everyone, but always remember that everything happens for a reason. Even if you truly believe you will never be happy again, keep your head up high and be patient. Your happiness should not depend on others; it’s your choice if you want to be happy. So smile as often as you can, and cry all your tears away. He obviously wasn’t worth your time, because you wouldn’t be in this situation if he were.
Will I ever find love?
The word “love” is passed around today, almost as much and if not more than the word “like.” You may love many people in your life, but true love only comes once. If you think you have it, grab on tight and don’t let go. When it comes to finding love, you must be patient. Love is something special and rare, and it takes awhile to find that right person. They may be someone you already know, or someone you will meet years down the road, but always remember that “Love is patient, love is kind.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)
How do I breakup with my boyfriend/girlfriend?
This is never an easy task or something anyone enjoys going through. You should always remember your boyfriend/girlfriend’s feelings. Do not stay in a relationship and dwindle along if you know it’s going to end because that just hurts them even more. Beyond the normal breakup, here are five ideas that may help:
1.) Do NOT do it through any type of technology.
2.) Try not to do it before or during a school day so it is less awkward.
3.) Be kind and respectful. Please, please, please do not just blame it on them. (unless they cheated)
4.) Try your hardest to part on good terms. Sometimes that is not possible, but at least you tried.
5.) Give them space. They may try to text you and continue to talk, but if you truly want to be done and begin moving on, you must take a period of “no talking.”
Some of these may be difficult, but in the long run it makes breaking up a whole lot easier.